Progress Halts on Super Dimension Fortress Construction December, 2006. Macross City - Nearly seven years since a crashing alien spacecraft struck this tiny island in the Pacific Ocean, reconstruction has come to a standstill. U.N. Spacy Secretary Vittorio Mignogna lays the blame upon local environmentalists, who are staging a protest campaign considered by authorities to be eco-terrorism. "I've had it up to here with these military-hating long-hairs!" shouts Mignogna, as he paradoxically motions his hand downward, indicating an excessive amount of hair. "Hypocrites all of them! They say they don't want to fight and then they car bomb us. Frankly, it's rather impressive tactics.but dag'nabit, we don't want their unshaven kind in the Spacy. What's next, a bridge full of women-folk on the SDF-1?" Concerned the further construction and deployment of the ship dubbed "Super Dimension Fortress" could lead to widespread ecological disaster, former surfing instructor and long-time tree hugger Brett Weaver leads the South Ataria Preservation Society. "Dude, there's a lot the Spacy doesn't want you to know, man. Like, what the heck is a Spacy? Of course, I totally don't support the violence." Weaver said on an audio tape mailed to The Gunion from an undisclosed location. Weaver questions whether military scientists can grasp the technology of the Super Dimension Fortress and use it for good. "The jolly green giants who built this robo-man and crashed it into us were clearly not regular dudes, dude. You can't reverse engineer thousands of years of advanced technology and expect it to work simple like a boogey board, ya know." After reviewing Weaver's audio recording, Secretary Mignongna's office released a statement declaring Weaver's arguments "Poppycock, humbug and other shenanigans." But online conspiracy blogger I.C. Blakellerkopters maintains that the SAPS may be onto something. "Call me a nutter butter, but I think the whole Super Dimension Fortress will be the catalyst for an alien invasion. It's nothing but a big booby trap. You can print that in the papers, right? Booby trap? Yeah. It's a booby trap." Construction on SDF-1 was planned for completion by 2009. Back to Front Page
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