Report by Chris & Dale

January 18, 2003

Friday, for the most part, was uneventful. As we stood in line for our tickets, an obese man in swim trunks walked right through the crowd. This was a harbinger of the strange occupants of the hotel we had yet to see. The first thing we heard as we passed the ballroom was Jack Stauffer (Bojay from Battlestar Galactica) singing show tunes. When we peeked in, we saw the room was nearly empty. We decided we had a good chance at winning a prize in the trivia game since no one was in the room. As it turned out, another lady did show up before the game started. Dale walked away with 3rd place and Chris with 2nd. The prizes were Trek novels and other trinkets like kites and movie pins. As Dale explored the other rooms, Chris checked out a bit of the movie previews with Arne Starr. It was so boring that fans were chiming in to complete lines from the prepared cards he was reading off of.

Saturday began with a tour of the dealer's room. There were some panels where fans discussed various topics, but who really cares about those? We stopped to look at a booth that had cool knives and swords, and the guy on crutches running it seemed like he'd been injured more than a few times by his products. Following that, we toured a room that was filled with nice starship models. Next was one of the scariest things in existence: the Klingon bar. This odd room was filled with weirdos in Klingon outfits, along with a Dabo girl for effect. Over at the bar, some Klingon lady shouted at Dale for standing too close to her family's banner. We got away from there as quickly as possible and headed to the main room to get our seats for Avery Brooks. Before his presentation, it was time for Alan Ruck. Most people would probably know him as Stuart Bondek from the Michael J. Fox sitcom Spin City, but Trekkies knew him long before that as the inept Captain John Harriman from Star Trek Generations. Alan opened with jokes from the classic 80's movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where he played Matthew Broderick's worrisome best friend. The subject of Generations came up, and he joked about how the Enterpise-B was handed over to someone as incompetent as Harriman. He also discussed working on the 1996 movie Twister and made fun of director Jan de Bont, whom Ruck also worked with on the original Speed. He also discussed working on Spin City with Michael J. Fox and Charlie Sheen before wrapping up the discussion.

Next, Avery Brooks (Captain Sisko on Deep Space Nine) entered the room to a standing ovation. He began with the standard pleasantries of thanking fans for watching the show and for coming. He didn't really have a discussion planned, so he spent his whole time taking questions from fans. Someone inevitably asked about a DS9 movie, and Avery said as far as he knew there was not going to be a movie, nor had he spoken to Paramount about it. Given the recent dismal performance of Star Trek Nemesis, it makes a DS9 movie even less likely. Someone asked about the IBM commercials he did a few years back, and Avery mentioned that he disagreed with IBM about making a Sisko tie-in commercial. He was asked what specific thing he would have liked to have been developed with Sisko's character, and he answered he would liked Sisko to have had a serious relationship sooner. He discussed having to grow hair for the show, as he usually is totally bald. He told one story about how a man cut his hair so badly they had to glue fake hair to his head. He brought up a kid for the demonstration, and he said that afterwards people thought he had ringworm due to the fake hair. Chris asked if there were any project he missed out by being tied to a series, and Avery mentioned Denzel Washington's part in Glory.

He was asked about the Mark Wahlberg movie The Big Hit, which he didn't seem to enjoy being mentioned. He recalled going one night to a club with Wahlberg and former wrestler Chyna. Avery also mentioned that he keeps in contact with Cirroc Lofton, the actor who played his son on DS9. He said that he thinks of Cirroc as one of his own sons. He was asked what would be his dream role, and he said he would like to do a movie about the life of actor Paul Robeson. As for having a Sisko cameo in a future movie, he said he'd think about it. Avery was asked about the end of the TV series, and he mentioned he didn't like the idea of Sisko dying. The writers tried to present it as something positive because Sisko was becoming a god, but Avery said he saw that Sisko was dying and leaving behind his son and a pregnant wife. He mentioned that he probably won't be an actor much longer and will instead focus on teaching and writing. At the end of the discussion he performed some Shakespeare on the spot for a fan and then began signing autographs.

After a long wait we managed to get our autographs. It was an interesting wait though. At one point, Manu Intiraymi (Icheb from Voyager) came up to us with his girlfriend and asked if we had seen the girl who was dressed up in Princess Leia's slave outfit. Later on we spotted him with several women at the hotel's hot tub. The next event we visited later in the day was a costume contest hosted by live action figure Vera Vanguard. Her job during the weekend was to basically take pictures with people. There were all sorts of strange people in the contest, including some guy who during the same day had been a Jedi, a Ranger and a Ghostbuster. There were some guest judges on the panel, including Jerry Doyle (Garibaldi from Babylon 5). When several middle-aged Klingon ladies tried to seduce him by shaking their breasts in his face, Jerry quickly wrote up a sign that said: "I'M GAY!" The winners of the contest were a group dressed as Spider-Man, Daredevil, the Green Goblin and someone else. After the contest, Chris walked up to Vera to take a picture with her and the Goblin. The Goblin was busy hitting on her, so when the time came to take the picture, he grabbed Chris with a firm grip (see picture below).

The next event was a paid dinner with the guests, which we didn't attend. After eating, we returned for Jerry Doyle's R-rated stand-up routine. He began with jokes about things that annoy him, such as people getting into airplanes and looking for their seats in the front even though they know they're in the back of the plane. At one point, Manu came in and Jerry commented that he was an "avowed homosexual." Manu flipped him off and stormed out. He went on to talk about other subjects such as sex and stories from the B5 set. He went on to talk about Bruce Boxleitner and his wife Melissa Gilbert. After several drinks, he asked where Bruce was and demanded he come in. Bruce was next door at the dinner and said he was busy with a room full of women, and Jerry joked that he was doing nothing with them. He began insulting Bruce and left the room to go and get him. He finally dragged him on stage and brought him in on the act. He talked about actors that he hated, like William Shatner. He joked about Shatner murdering his wife, which made the crowd suddenly go very silent.

Jerry went on to talk more about B5 and bad movies that he'd done. In one movie, he was supposed to be on a roof threatening a guy with a gun. A nearby resident complained, so Jerry threatened him with the fake gun. The police came and nearly arrested everyone, and it turned out they didn't know a movie was being filmed because their filming permit had expired. There were lots more dirty jokes about sex and Jerry's many girlfriends. In the end, an event that was supposed to last only thirty minutes ended up turning into two hours. Afterwards, we followed Jerry and Bruce to the bar, where they began boozing it up with several fans. Bruce was surrounded by a ring of middle-aged ladies, and Jerry by weirdos in general. Some gothic girl was sitting next to Jerry, and at some point her dorky friend in a blue hat came up behind her and stuck his hand down her shirt in front of everyone. We listened as Jerry and Bruce told more stories. Later, Manu showed up with a pitcher of water and poured everyone drinks, telling them it was vodka. At 1:00 A.M. The bar shut down, and Jerry decided to take the party to his room while Bruce went to sleep in his own. After a very long day, we called it quits and returned to our hotel.

Unlike Saturday, Sunday had no events of note beyond the panel discussions. The first one we saw was Manu. He remarked that it was cold even though he was wearing a sweater over a t-shirt. Luckily, someone in the audience threw him a bright orange jacket. He was quite a bit more subdued than his appearance at Trek Happening X earlier. Most of the questions and answers were identical to those of that convention. He poked fun at strange things Jerry Doyle has done, such as refusing to give an armed mugger his wallet and trying to jump off of a cruise ship while drunk. Next on stage was Jerry himself, who was visibly hung over from the previous night. The audience remarked on this fact with such questions as, "Are you awake?." Jerry said it was difficult to handle everyone wanting to buy him drinks Saturday night. He then told the famous F-16 story. Bruce and Jerry went to Edwards Air Force Base to prepare for a flight in an F-16. When Jerry bothered Bruce about being so nervous, Bruce responded that he has a family to worry about, while Jerry has no one who cares about him. Bruce stuffed a bunch of puke bags in his shirt and sat rigidly in his seat when the plane was preparing for takeoff. Jerry took control of the plane and did loops and nose drives, which caused Bruce to throw up. When they exited the plane, they were hosed off with water as a gag, which made Bruce think he was on fire. Jerry commemorated the event by bronzing a puke bag on a plaque, which Bruce currently has in his office.

A very funny event occurred in the middle of Jerry's talk. Manu charged onto the stage and snatched his drink, no doubt in retribution for the comments made about him on Saturday. Jerry responded that he had done something quite nasty to the drink. Chris was able to ask Jerry a question about the experience of being tied to Sammo Hung in an episode of Marshal Law. Jerry said it was funny since Sammo had an earpiece that sent dialogue to him in English before he actually spoke it aloud. He also told of being attacked in Florida by strange creatures. A frog jumped at him in his bathroom, causing him to fall backwards. On the same day, a snake took his garden hose hostage by coiling around it. As for Babylon 5 related comments, his favorite episode was the Season 2 premiere. He had a full salary for playing Garibaldi in a coma. He also reiterated another funny Babylon 5 story, told on Saturday, involving the 3rd season episode "Convictions." The pyrotechnics staff made the explosions a bit too realistic, resulting in pieces of the set flying all over the place. The crew was too busy fixing Bruce's hair to notice Jerry was on fire.

Next was the main event of the day, Bruce Boxleitner. He quipped that no one checked Jerry's pants the day of the F-16 flight. He said he wanted to talk about science fiction and Babylon 5. For the new Tron video game, he lent his voice to his character of Alan Bradley. The basic story is that Alan is kidnapped and his son becomes the new Tron to save him. He flatly denied any rumors of a Babylon 5 theatrical movie. By the fifth season, he said the show was just being discovered by many and was shot in the foot by its 5 year arc. For the second season's DVD release, he revealed he would do a commentary. He doesn't watch much scifi at home, but he did enjoy seeing Legend of the Rangers. His favorite actor from the show was Andreas Katsulas, who played G'kar. He made some strange comments about Andreas, saying that he literally lives in a dressing room closet. He also told of how Andreas once went insane looking for a receipt he threw away which had coupon for a free ham on it. His former Scarecrow and Mrs. King co-star, Kate Jackson, seemed to be avoiding him at conventions. He said it was odd shooting his new Civil War movie, Gods and Generals, at the same time of a real national tragedy. He joked that his favorite episode of Babylon 5 was any one that Jerry was not in. As an actor, his favorite was one where he didn't have to do all the talking, the 4th season episode "Intersections in Real Time." He also praised the actor who played the interrogator.

Next, Dale asked Bruce a question about what it was like to play Sheridan at so many different ages. Bruce responded that it was strange to go right from playing Sheridan at the end of his life in "Sleeping in Light" to playing him as a young man in the prequel movie "In the Beginning." Someone asked him how to break into the acting industry. He said that it was a catch 22; you have to be a member of the Screen Actors Guild to get an acting job, but to get an acting job, you have to be in the Guild. He also said he could drop his wife, Melissa Gilbert, a note for him, since she is the president. A rumor was floating around on the internet about him getting a divorce, which he dispelled. He is pitching his book series Frontier Earth to the FX channel instead of Sci-Fi, because the Sci-Fi channel is too cheap in his opinion. He initially got his job on Babylon 5 though the recommendation of producer Doug Netter. The original name for his character was Captain Stryder. Other actors who auditioned for the role include Stacy Keach and Corbin Bernsen. He commented on how Kosh looked like a fridge with curtains on it. He called Jerry a weenie for exaggerating the fire story. He then proceeded to get his revenge on Jerry, making fun of his choice in women. Jerry and J. Michael Straczynski (creator of Babylon 5) had a unique relationship. Jerry would annoy him and would be written out of an episode. Finally, they gave away a mask from Crusade to a lucky fan. The autograph session went on for many hours before we got our turn. Jerry quipped that Bruce was signing too slow and should just put "B squared" and get on with it. Bruce was getting the bulk of the fans, which left us a great opportunity for some photos with Jerry, which you can see below along with others.

Left: The Klingon bar, where Klingons hung out in character. Dale was berated here for passing by one clan's symbol without honoring it.
Right: The Grand Nagus, who ran some sort of bizarre game with a hanging skeleton. We passed on playing that one.



Left: Alan Ruck (Stuart from Spin City) signing autographs.
Right: Manu Intiraymi (Icheb from Voyager) looking a bit tired.

Left: Dale (and a Rebel pilot) with a functional radio controlled droid.
Right: Darth Maul and Darth Vader, along with the Storm Troopers, were the official security for the convention (notice the Darth Tater shirt).

Left: Chris standing with some high quality models from Star Trek.
Right: Chris thanking Avery Brooks for being part of Deep Space 9.

Left: Jerry Doyle (Garibaldi of Babylon 5) leaving the bar to be on a program called RadioSciFi.
Right: Jerry getting the feeling he is being stalked as Dale hides behind him during the show.

Left: The Green Goblin (a winner from the costume contest) attacking Chris as he tries to pose with Vera Vanguard (the contest host).
Right: The judges panel for the contest.

Left: Jerry presenting Bruce Boxleitner (Sheridan from Babylon 5) with his communion.
Right: Chris hanging out with Bruce and Jerry, who chatted with fans until the am hours.

Left: Things got wild as time passed (notice Manu with the water pitcher).
Right: Dale posing with the always entertaining Jerry Doyle.

Left: Chris posing with Jerry (notice the "Daffy Duck for President" poster).
Right: Some of our signed items from the convention.

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